the adventures of yoshi

…on that ONE

Posted in Food for Thought by yoshi on August 18, 2009

i was listening to my ipod this morning and the song echo, from incubus started playing…

you know when there’s a song or even an entire album that just makes you feel sick to your stomach and brings back a ton of memories that almost takes your breath away?

well yea, that song just about did it for me.

it reminded me of that ONE person, or in my case, an ex, that just made my heart hurt to the point of feeling nothing at all. that ONE boy who made my life the way it is today.

can i share with you my story? ok i will. =P

he was the boy almost every girl hated but every girl wanted. he had this swagger about him, call it cocky, but i called it confidence. his style matched your own. when he looked at you, you shied away. he was more mature than the other guys, but maybe it was because he failed a year. everything about him you wanted for yourself, but you were always out of his radar. he made your life hell during your adolescent years; teasing you for wearing the wrong shoes, asking why you had no eyebrows (it was the late 90’s what girl DIDN’T draw them in???), basically commenting on everything to the point you felt like you HAD to be on point with your self presentation.

fast forward.

senior year. about to graduate. both are single. going to the same college. sure, why not? it made sense. bonnie and clyde.

fast forward.

college year, the first one. too many lies (SUCH the understatement. too many drugs. too much heartache. TOO MUCH. incubus got me through the hurt.

fast forward.

2 years and some months go by. my heart aches so much that i can’t even think straight or breathe normally. i’ve transformed my life to fit around his. i’ve hurt my family and left my friends to try to keep him at my side. for what? for him to only return by more lies and more girls?!

HA. i’m not THAT dumb.

fast forward.

To the man who left me heart broken for all the years we were together and all the months after that you tormented my soul,

THANK YOU.

thank you for giving me a better sense of fashion.
thank you for starting my sneaker collection.
thank you for letting me know who the scumbags are in the world because you were truly a douchebag.
thank you for lying to me, now i know when i’m being lied to.
thank you for all the bullshit you put me through, i now know my worth.
thank you for making me put a lock around my heart, it helped me find the man with the key.
thank you for making me a stronger person.

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5 Responses

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  1. Adalhi said, on August 18, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    gah! now you have me chocked up.

    reading this just triggered my college past.

    🙂 suckers. they missed out 🙂

  2. Drea said, on August 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM

    i feel the exact same way about my ex. even though that relationship had me chewed and spit up like shit, i can’t help but think that those were the times that gave me thicker skin.

  3. illmfchang said, on August 19, 2009 at 5:14 AM

    Whoa, that’s scary. “Echo” played on my ipod randomly today too!

    A different song had the same effect on me though. For me it was, “Off the Wall” by Michael Jackson. I always thought of the fun times I had with my ex with that song. Too bad that relationship wound up with her cheating, and later using my info from an old lease to get a loan to pay for some of her college tuition. Cold-hearted ish. It sucked pretty bad when MJ died, b/c I hear that song a lot more frequently now. Whatever, I’m over it, (and I still love that song). Glad that you’re in a better situation now.

  4. Dee said, on August 19, 2009 at 11:56 PM

    I have had this same type of man in my life.

    I am so scared one day i will see him again….

    I know my hear will sink….i know my legs will shake, im scared i’ll fall again…

    I wish he never came into my life, but im also glad he came into my life……he made me the person i am today…thankyou kid b.

  5. kakes said, on August 24, 2009 at 10:30 PM

    thanks for the post.. it was truly felt (across the screen).. ahh.. u survived all the BS and now is more powerful than ever!


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