the adventures of yoshi

…on starting a new year

Posted in Food for Thought by yoshi on January 1, 2010

i’m more confused as ever as we enter 2010….

every time i think of leaving new york, my heart sinks and flashbacks of all my friend’s smiling faces bullet through my memory.

i find myself constantly trying to remind.. myself (i didn’t want to use “myself” twice in one sentence hahaaha but whatever) that this is a GOOD change, that i will have MORE opportunities out here and that i will meet NEW friends…

is it too soon?

if i wait it out, will it be too late?

i will hurt my parents if i don’t come back, but will i be hurting myself if i do?

when people ask me about my move and if i’m excited, i force a smile and ignore the pain in my gut, and reply with a nod with no eye contact…. don’t get me wrong! i love SF i love the people here! but it is EXTREMELY difficult to leave the city that helped me grow, that welcomed me with open arms, that taught me the lesson that nothing is EVER easy, that if you party hard you should work even harder….

gah – i’m sorry to ramble and put a damper on the first day of the year, but i’ve never felt this lost before… EVER

8 Responses

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  1. Doozy said, on January 1, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    Sounds like the sinking feeling is telling you it’s not time to leave NY yet.

  2. sandy said, on January 1, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    you can do it! its gonna be a good change, plus nyc will always be there. but totally know how you feel – been there… still miss NYC but having a great time and doing BIGGER AND BETTER things in SH!

  3. wendy said, on January 1, 2010 at 10:38 PM

    Awww… Think it over. I know how you feel, I am graduating college soon and wondering if I should go to law school right away and be a good asian daughter or do what I want and wait a year. Yoshi, we will miss u here in NYC. Don’t leave yet!

  4. Candice said, on January 1, 2010 at 11:02 PM

    awww… I know just how you feel. I moved back home for family and I miss chicago everyday…but moving on…Somethings enter you life for growth and show you that growing is not as bad as it is made out to be. Growth helps you find out more about yourself, the world around you, and things you could never think of.

    Life is about change love, and you will know what you want/need to do. Yeah I’m sure that doesn’t help…however it’s not always about the opportunities as much as it is about what truly makes you happy. what do you think about when you first wake up and last when you go to bed… have faith and breathe, you’ll find you way…love your blog…


    • yoshi said, on January 2, 2010 at 12:10 AM

      thank you sooooo much for your comment… i’m really hoping everything comes into perspective as the time draws near…

  5. areobee said, on January 3, 2010 at 12:59 AM

    Don’t do it! I know how you feel ’bout that stank eye you been getting out here by the “haters”. It’s the NYC in you that makes you “go hard” fashion-wise no matter where you’re headed. I come back from NY rockin’ a bow tie and people look at me like: “Why you so dressed up?” Sorry, just sayin’ cause it looks like you’re making moves!

  6. emma said, on January 3, 2010 at 8:00 PM

    jess, much as i am gonna miss you like HELL when you move, i really admire your desire to be nearer your family. as long as it’s not pressure from them that’s driving your move rather than your own needs. you know i can relate, being far from home, especially after having my mum around for a month. i miss being close to her. so many people miss out on having their family close by these days and can come to regret it later. i know i feel that way somewhat about my dad. i could be selfish and say egon wants his auntie jess around! but only you can know for sure what you need to do. good luck with figuring it out. xx

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