…on changing a flat tire

…by yourself, without your “strong” boyfriend at hand to take over.

yesterday the weather was PERFECT. great day to ride my bike into the city to meet suz before she had to go to work. after my shower i realized, FACK! i forgot i had a flat! if you live in bushwick, you’ll know that riding on johnson sucks ass. i think i’ve gotten 3 flats on the street so far. it was raining that night so the bf and i decided to just walk the rest of the way home instead of trying to patch up in the rain… yea, i know. we’re smart.

fast forward.

now, i’m not one to mind getting my hands a little dirty, heck i used to change my own oil, fix my fan belt, figure out ways to cool down my engine when it was overheating (which was almost everyday)… but YO. i am not a fan of changing a bike flat.

yea.. i know.. i forgot to remove the wheel... i did that later.

yea... i know... this is not the right tool. WHATEVER it got the job done!

the first few parts are easy peasy. lift off the tire from the rim, slip out the tube, check for any glass and stick a new tube back in (unless you’ve patched the old one, which i did NOT have any patience to do). ok, done and done right?!

WRONG.

after you get the tube in, you have to put the tire back into the rim! it’s ok until you reach the end of the circle, then you gotta FIGHT FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE to get the last part of that tire in. i’m talking if i had balls, I WAS SWEATING MY THEM NUTS OFF trying to get that piece of shit back in.

OMFGGGGGG.

my thumbs were sore. my back was strained. i was yelling curse words that offended my poor innocent kitties. i used every tool i could. and then finally, as if some kind of bike god was looking over my shoulder, everything fell into place. EUREKA!!!!

i finally pumped air into that wheel, which is pretty tough for me as well since i’m freaking tiny – i literally hoist myself over that handle so i can push it down with ALL my weight. its quite a sight… really, it is. *ps i fucking forgot to unscrew the valve (yes i DO know how to put air into my tires, but i was already flustered by this time) so that’s probably why i was having a harder time pushing down SMH.

i screw in the front wheel (not even realizing that i put it on crooked, the bf didn’t call that out til we got home later that night bahahahahaha!), i ignore the fact that my arms are shot and i’m sweating like a pig. i do my victory dance in front of the mirror – booty booty booty booty rockin everywurrr!

then i get a call from my bf. i answer, panting and barely able to lift the phone to my ear “i just finished!!!!”

he says, “oh, i just got home”

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just a weeeee bit off no? LMAOOOO such a newb