the adventures of yoshi

on eating, praying, loving…

Posted in Food for Thought by yoshi on April 10, 2011

a long time ago, one of my best friends from back home in the bay, lent me the book: eat, pray, love. i tried tried tried TRIED to get through the first few chapters, but to no avail.

i was impatient. i didn’t want to read about some middle aged woman going through a divorce from a man who still loved her, nor did i want to read about her packing up and leaving to live in rome to enjoy life and food, travel to india to find self through meditation, and finally bali to find love.

i got all the way up to the end of her rome stint and that’s when i found out that julia roberts was going to star in the movie version – to which i put the book down and waited.

waited i did. the movie came and went and only now did i finally watch it because it was available on netflix’s instant watch menu. (and if you follow me on twitter, than you may be thinking, damn – i watch a lot of netflix on the weekends since i pretty much watched russell brand nyc stand up show and wwe’s top 50 superstars.. both very much worth my time).

as i watched, i couldn’t help but feel depressed. the same kind of feeling i felt as i started reading the book. i couldn’t figure out why i felt this way over a movie/book that is meant to nurture one’s heart and open one’s mind…

that’s when i decided to write a blog post about to help me try to figure it out.

i apologize in advance if my words will go neither here nor there at some points – cupcake wars is on tv and i’m fighting HARD to concentrate on this post.

so, let me begin by saying that part of the reason (and now, my cat is threatening my keyboard as she finds a comfortable spot on my lap), why i feel so bitter about this movie is because of jealousy and maybe a tinge of regret.

when i was younger, i always told myself that i would move abroad and indulge myself in life – in as many cultures as i could get my hands on. before i turned 22, i had already been to over at least 20 countries – in and around asia and all over eastern and western europe. i wouldn’t care what job i had as long as i was happy experiencing new things; bearing witness to people living the same lives – just in a different way; and of course, tasting, smelling, hearing the new life i would have made for myself away from the bay area.

as i watched julia roberts walk through the cobble stone streets of rome and all the beautiful b-roll shots of the city, i remembered the different sunsets and sunrises i have seen in my life – from the purple sunsets over the beaches of the thailand and the philippines, to the sunrise over the danube river whether in hungary or slovakia, and even the brightest moons that hung over romania and sweden – each, always like a unique gift from nature i felt were just for me… (selfish i know huh?)

i began to look at my life and what its become.

i live and breathe new york. i work in midtown for a huge advertising agency for goodness sake. there was one line when from the movie when they were in italy from the character luca spaghetti: “Americans know entertainment, but they don’t know pleasure.” and then went on: “Americans. You work too hard, you get burned out. You come home and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the T.V.”

at this very moment, i looked down at myself, sitting in my pj’s on the couch, watching this damn movie on a sunday! why am i not out enjoying new york right now?!

i’ll tell you why, its because i work too hard. by the time the weekend comes, all i want to do is sleep and not think. numb me up with drinks, stupid movies, and online shopping please!

but in all seriousness, i’ve always been one to take pride and be perfect in whatever it is i do. because of this, i think i’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to be the perfect little worker. i find myself constantly reminding, well, myself, “hey, its just a job, no one is dying for fuck’s sake.” right… i’m not a doctor.

so then this lead to my next train of thought: do i want to spend the rest of my life worrying about my job? reminding myself not to take it seriously?

my mind then trails into a fantasy world of me hanging out with my foreign friends, sitting for hours outside a cafe watching families, couples, elderly people smile and go about their weekends as we each enjoy a few pastries and a small cup of espresso. we don’t talk about how stressful work is or how its almost monday, or how we can’t wait until we go on vacation or retire.

no. we just have fun and enjoy the company of the world.

perhaps its because i’m at an age now that i really have to choose my career path and look to the future that as i watch this movie, i feel an overwhelming wave of regret. or maybe its just my pms.

regret that i stayed in ny too long and never got to live abroad longer than my brief stint in budapest.

but you know what? at the end of the day, i’m still young. i still have a whole lot of kick in my stride. and hell, if julia roberts and elizabeth gilbert were able to do all this shit in their 40’s – then who knows what will happen in the future! i still got 20 years to figure shit out (ok wait, more like 12 FML). not to say that i’m already expecting to be a middle-aged divorcee… i’m just saying that i just don’t know what the the next 10 or so years will hold for me.

in the meantime, however, this is a good reminder to myself to take it easy and not to take my job so seriously… lord help me! hahahahaha!

thanks for reading… comments, as usual, are always welcome =)

and now, i want some damn cupcakes!!!!

OH and PS – javier bardem as felipe – WOW – find me a man like him to sweep me off my feet pronto! why can’t he look this hot in any of his other movies?!

she got reaaaal comfortable and almost deleted this whole post!

*disclaimer: i do realize that the book is different than the movie – i’m solely taking cues from the movie*

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6 Responses

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  1. Candice said, on April 10, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    Wow! I really liked this post. The thing about these kinds of thoughts is that I think almost everyone has them. Even me. I’m only 19 (about to turn 20 next week); still really young; and all I do on the weekends is lay around because I’m so tired from the stress of school. 2 years in art school is dumb hard! But I know that I have a long way to go still and that I don’t know what the future holds, though, I wish it could be written all down in a book for me to see…or maybe not. But posts like this make me feel like I’m not alone!

    Thank you!

  2. Louie said, on April 10, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    aamen, you responded to all my thoughts as I was reading your post! Lol we need to catch up, miss you!

  3. Jessica said, on April 10, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Read the entire post and enjoyed it. I like exploring but my boyfriend is a homebody. At this moment, we’re watching the Knicks vs. Pacers game when we were supposed to go to the Cherry Blossom festival. It’s hard to do things when someone’s holding you back, and I know that it sounds dumb because the only person that is holding me back is myself.. yes I can do things on my own but I want to share it with my boyfriend but he doesn’t get it. I’m still a full-time student and working part-time but I still make time for my friends because I don’t want to regret the lost memories that “could’ve” been. Oh the irony of life is too short but we have a whole lifetime to do everything.

  4. pinkcandles said, on April 11, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    hi yoshi
    re the book, ‘eat pray love’ – one of my friends got it for me as a gift 3 years ago when i was super super ill. i tried so hard to get into it but really couldn’t. in fact, i hated the book. i couldn’t relate or get excited about it at all even though it was on the best seller list and many of my female friends loved it. not that i was resentful or regretful about my life, but i just couldn’t relate to author and her life of privilege. must’ve been nice for her to have the means to be able to up and leave everything but i for most normal people, they aren’t able to do that.

    • yoshi said, on April 11, 2011 at 5:50 AM

      Oh I TOTALLY agree! In fact I think I forgot to mention this in my post damnit! But yea, the whole “woe is me, I’m gonna travel for a year boohoohoohoo” crap was indeed more than I could handle. She got no sympathy from me

  5. julie said, on April 24, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    I had a falling out with your blog (not because of you), and stumbled upon this post and wanted to let you know that i’ve envied your life on occasions. I think it was your post about you moving back to the the bay was when i last commented, and for you to find the courage to stay in NY and continue to do what you’re doing is enduring. I occasionally get depress about where my life stands…esp after watching movies like eat pray love or what have you. But then I watch other TV shows like Extreme Couponing (guilty pleasure) and see how a mom with a family of 6 survives on a budget of $60/month reminds me how good I have it! It’s funny cuz I’ve been on FB less, reading less blogs, and watching less movies cuz of the same exact reason you avoided this movie/book. I get a little depress when I see others doing their thing while I’m still struggling to find my calling! Some days I feel like being a homebody is not so bad, and other days I want to conquer the world! My poor boyfriend has to deal with this! Actually, I pick fights with him sometimes because of this so called crisis. He sometimes doesn’t even know where it’s all coming from…and I’d just sound crazy if I say, I just watched ___insert sappy movie___ and got depressed cuz I want to be her and I’m not doing anything to get there! Anyway, to end, I feel ya girl. Great post.

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